Finding your inner pricks & others' little pricks
I have no idea why this is so crude, apologies for being so gormless. This is written like a prick by an ill-educated arsehole to be used as a little guide to finding your inner arsehole, my inner arsehole, and others inner arseholes until they’re cumming at you from all angles like a bad porno. You’re going to have to beat yourself up a little bit to stop yourself from being a dildo, but dildon’t, it’s all a journey bromeo - even Margot Robbie has a rectum, so go embrace your inner arsehole. If you feel like you’re the super duty tough work champ of planet earth and are absolutely flawless then this is a good lil learner for you if you're in the direct firing line of an arsehole; a metaphorical nappy as such or the Fisher Price “how to deal with my first arsehole” kit.
A useful thought is that if someone is acting like a ‘dickhead' to you or others, they definitely have a lot going on, be it a loved one's sick / they got the sack / caught willy in toaster / an episode of psychosis or a vast array of possibilities for people to act out of 'your ordinary’. Firstly, prickness is subjective and some peoples’ prickness is another person’s triumph; so the first question to ask yourself is ‘this maybe just entirely my perception of what a dickhead is?' (what you say about someone says a lot more about you). Secondly, another definite possibility for people to sometimes harm others is because of their insecurities or defence mechanisms———>>>> putting it down to insecurities should help make you feel secure, arriving at conclusion station it’s not you my fren it’s themalem, and if they were truly secure they wouldn’t hurt you or do that kicking of puppies. So sometimes if some willy fiend beeps at you or someone throws an unjustified wobbler at you, just imagine little scenarios where obviously this person has a lot going on or something traumatic happened in their childhood/adultness, but also maybe invent some patronising little scenarios where this grown adult probably pays prostitutes for hugs and spends their nights with imaginary friends (and even their imaginary friends think they’re a prick). Whatever it maybe baybee, anything to justify their unconscious actions so that you are no longer hurt, and then you can empathise. Don’t look at what they have said or done but imagine why, then empathise or at least sympathise.
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This is split into two parts - 1. Bullies/Narcissistic/Sociopathic/Psychopathic Personality Disorders ࿃ूੂੂ 2. Defence Mechanisms (Ego) we all display every day
So while 1 doesn’t cover all arseholes like a G-string, 2 covers all arseholes and ain’t nothing but a G thing.
ʕ ·ᴥ·ʔ ๑ ̟̞̝̜̙̘̗̖҉̵̴̨̧̢̡̼̻̺̹̳̲̱̰̯̮̭̬̫̪̩̦̥̤̣̠҈͈͇͉͍͎͓͔͕͖͙͚͜͢͢͢͢͢͢͢͢͢͢͢͢ ̸ ̡ ҉ ҉ ʕᴥ· ʔ
I’m worried this will look like a stab at a colleague or a friend or an ex or whoever. I was asked to do this rectum research for doing a talk in a company with a big bad bully many luna ago (this was written s long time ago but laptop broke and lost everything so recreating) but many a time I have been a dickhead to many a person and I have also been on the receiving end of a few too many poignant dinner dumpers so I've had to do a good bit of trying to figure out wagwan with myself and also wagwan these mad kunst to survive this planet of beeping fuckwits. Just realised, a car’s beep is actual just a censored version of what they’re trying to say, like a beeping Land Rover is actually saying “absolutely focking sending it Breffni” a Gold Micra is saying “get out of my way before I give you the menopause” but it’s censored by *£*$£!, fortunately for me I don’t beep. Anyway, I understand this is quite a sensitive subject for those affected by these people and I know some that may be reading this may have had their entire lives/self-esteem destroyed by an arsehole, so if you have been affected or something is insensitive in this please let me know, and if you need to chat or have been abused plz plez plz do let me know and can direct you to suitable help. I hope it helps you a lil bit though, fingers crossed. Please feel free to add or correct me. I’m not a qualified psychophucker nor a writer-human; I’m qualified in nothing but colouring-in therefore some of these dots may be joined ignorantly so feel free to take what you please and paint your own poor-traits x
1. Narcs 𓁙
Narcotics this is the idea of becoming unconscious of your surroundings, and re-entering a womb like state via jazz cabbage or whatever you’re having yourself. Babies become conscious or aware that the whole planet isn’t about them around 18 months or so, but some never grow out of this. Only a handful of other animals reach this conscious state, the rest of us were in the CBS Arklow.
Narcolepsy becoming unconscious/having sleep attacks. You know that fuzzy feeling you get just as you’re about to nod off? It’s a similar buzz to narcissus and narcotics. Basically, Narc is the greek for numbness and and in some form or manner becoming unconscious of our surroundings.
The main characteristics of Narcissistic personality disorder are a severe lack of empathy (completely numb/unconscious of others) and a sense of self-grandiose (believe they are special), fantasies, requiring excessive admiration, with a dabble of charm and sometimes shyness, manipulating people and situations to appease their ego, manipulation of your sanity or things you say, extreme and dangerous lies, delusions of entitlement, violent tempers, extreme jealousy, and no accountability. All the shittest shit. Again, sometimes we all doobee shit but having 5 or 6 of the above and you or the people around you are in trouble. There are some of the toxic games they play below, some of which we are all guilty of.
𐎂 𐎃 𐎄 𐎅 𐎆 𐎇 𐎈 𐎉 𐎊 𐎋 𐎌 𐎍
Gaslighting This is by far the fucking worst. JESUS you completely don’t know what’s what - are those my feet? Am I a tracker mortgage? No, maybe I’m a firetruck. Gaslighting is like a narcissist feeding you Kerrygold and telling you that it’s "I can’t believe it’s not butter". Then you feeling like you genuinely can’t believe it’s not butter; infact it’s so dubiously like Kerrygold you’d go as far as saying ‘I can’t believe it’s not butter and I think it’s Kerrygold’. Gaslighting is being told that it’s not butter, it’s you that's fucking insane, they’re not lying, again it is not butter, you are not being bullied, this is not abuse, it is not cheating, now enjoy your toast & your future padded cell.
StoneWalling Is a form of manipulation where somebody confronts a toxic person with how their actions have hurt them and the arsehole contracts and says nothing. This is done to invalidate feelings and devoid the arsehole of any responsibility for their actions. Ghosting can also fall into this category (something I have done purposely or accidentally before as a defence mechanism - it is a horrible trait and I am cognisant and I am sorry ). When stonewalled you might feel a bit insane but the best solution is that you can chat to a friend, a counsellor or any other forms of therapy. Chat to people that are adults or who care basically, you are betterer than this treatment, no matter who you are.
Flying Monkeys Ya know the Wizard of Oz when the witch had those weird little flying fucks that be behaving on her command? Narcissists have weird little flying fucks too - it’s their mates, colleagues or partners - operating on behalf of the narc/bully having been manipulated to play their psychological games on behalf of them while they lounge on their high horse being fed grapes by wingardium leviosaaaa monkeys. On the sea level side of things a narcissistic person will always keep a few Lifeboats too - those that they have manipulated into validating their existence whenever needed; with absolutely no regard for their wellbeing but just a monkey in armbands to feed off.
LoveBombing This is how you will get trapped or hooked. You will be showered with gifts, compliments, pastries and charm. This person is the greatest and most lovely person forever, forever ever, forever ever...Sorry Ms Jacksonnnn, you are hooked innnnnn. What I find quite funny is a lot of people but not all report that Narcissist gifts are actually super depersonalised, as in so out of touch with your wants or needs you know have an Oak Tree and wild geese in your flat. Somehow the gift will enforce their existence, validating theirs or controlling yours. Not for all, and some people are shit at presents/lovebombing in general but a gas thought.
Triangulation Triangulation refers to a specific behaviour that can come up within a two-person conflict which witch then adds a turd. Sometimes flying monkeys but sometimes not so aerial maybe more isosceles monkeys. Triangulation happens when one or both of the people involved in the conflict try to pull a third person into the dynamic, often with the goal of deflecting some of the tension. Cut your real-buttered toast in rectangles.
ゝ、 ＼ ／⌒ヽ,ノ /´
ゝ、 `（ ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ／ cantbeleeb shnot butter
If you find yourself in the vicinity of one which you will, be it work, a friendship or a relationship -;> YO NO SELF-DIAGNOSO!!!! but if more red flags than Chinese dynasty get on your space hopper and bounce chow mien janarta meen y’know what I mean geeeeza. There’s nothing you can do and there’s no cure, a leopard never changes their spots and you are merely a host to these parasitic relationships; deriving you of friends, hobbies, self-esteem, a way of thinking or a way of life and they will go to extreme lengths to hook you in as a validation vessel. If you do not feed this there will be violent tempers and lies, bullying or cheating and all you can do is block, run, do a lil hokey pokey but never turn around. You should be a caged bird, and for you to fly is their worst nightmare. If you have a golden field full of hay their jealousy will burn it, and no matter what direction you put the fire out they will start another, so keep your distance and make hay while the sun shines in a very, very far away field. It’s extremely hard to do if you are an empath and care/sympathise with people, which is v lovely of you you byooshephull bean so that makes all this extremely harderer, but the quieter and more graceful you move the further you’ll get.
If in work or a parent, becoming aware of how they operate can create an emotional distance when it's impossible to create a physical one. You must be incredibly patient to not bite to any tempers or outlandish actions. Keep yourself emotionally detached and you will keep them on toast (it was Kerrygold broooo and you were being spread) in these relationships. Hopefully this blog will have helped with that xx
Blog on Narcissist Parents https://medium.com/family-kids/10-signs-your-mother-is-a-narcissist-71b1d9c6cf1f
Blog on Working with Narcissistic mother truckers https://medium.com/@DrNicoleLipkin/how-to-work-with-a-narcissist-when-you-have-no-choice-85da0a878352
_/▔﹀\_︿╱5̶0̶2̶ B̶a̶d̶ G̶a̶t̶e̶w̶a̶y̶╱﹀▔︺︹▁/╲︿_
This is a horrible sickness that weirdly only affects those that don’t have it, but and an and you should respect and pity this persons illness as it were a physical one. They will never self-actualise as they will never realise who they are themselves. They probably had a shit/ superficial upbringing so sympathise with that when you can.
These narcissistic/sociopathic/psychopathic traits are inherited usually as a result of extreme overprotection or extreme neglection by their parents and you can still feel sorry for them; and of course still love or like or pity this person but bargepoles for arseholes.
If you are being affected by a bully or one of these people which so many have, it is definitely worth going to see a counsellor or psychotherapist as you will probably have been gaslighted and you need to know it’s not you that’s the sick puppy. Gaslighted enough to have to read this, or gaslighted enough to think you’re the problem. Then let those gaslit bridges you burned light your return to sanity.
2. DEfence MECHANISMs (EGO) 𓁙
Anna Freud’s Ego and the mechanisms of defence.
Defending our perception of ourselves, or who we think we are. Every human bean on the planet displays these! We all have a name and know we exist therefore we have a perception of ourselves and have an idea what we are or who we should be, and will defend that! Unless you’ve smoked enough DMT to end up without a physical entity and are trapped within the 12th Dimension (tell our creator I said hello) we’ve all got a perception of ourselves. Sometimes we display these traits a couple of times a day, I’ve had to pull myself up so many times even writing this now I’m like yi na you faaaaaacking cant.
Anna Freud is big Sig’s daughter, and I’d like to make a mad assumption she may have wrote this theory on defence mechanisms while looking at her father hoovering divil dust (narcotics).
Projection - Attributing a bad feeling you have onto someone else. You’ve given the negative feelings you’ve attributed yourself somehow, somewhere and now imposed these onto someone else. You could be paranoid or have trust issues about someone in work, stemming from a previous experience with a completely different person in school bullying you but are now projecting this individual insecurity onto another individual, when in reality they’ve done nothing. CBT is quite good for applying logic to some illogical thoughts.
Turning against the self - this is when we think badly of ourselves just to escape an even worse thought…. would ya beleeee that amount of trauma that you’d do that! Mar shampla, someone we hope would love us doesn’t actually, so a kid with shit parents might actually feel like they’re useless and self-harm when in fact it’s the parents that are plonkers SAIS PAS VRAI yes, it might not be you my dude. Orrr self-sabotaging yourself because someone else doesn’t love you, so you look at all the holes in yourself when in fact it could be just them be a horrible person and projecting upon you. (don’t forget the understanding above)
Regression When things become tough we often revert to childlike ways and evade responsibility. It’s always someone else’s fault, throw a tantrum, everybody needs a bosom for a pillow. I keep trying to think of a funny analogy but maybe I need to grow up :(
Rationalisation The conclusion we can come to rationalise any wrong doing to us. I didn’t get the job because I am a straight white male - to defend your ego you may say to yourself, I am great, they were RACIST SEXIST SCUM I’m sick of being discriminated against all these millenia. Ok maybe you didn’t get the job as a vegetable clock because you don’t turnip on time. (I’m so sorry, genuinely sorry)
Sublimation THIS IS WHAT I’M DOING RIGHT NOW - MISE EN ABYME!! We redirect unacceptable thoughts or emotions, sometimes about sex, sometimes about blindfolding guidedogs, sometimes about liking olives and then channel them into finer channels - artists and musicians will channel these unacceptable thoughts into artworks or songs and some chancers into blogposts.
Intellectualization Super scary senses of loss, betrayal or rejection may be kept at bay by intellectualising yourself. Becoming a prophet of bitcoin, a great scholar of parallel parking or learning about arseholes so you can write a blog and impose your opinion onto others.
Reaction Formation Doing the opposite of the initial negative feelings, so like a pervert might become a priest, a narcissistic cunt might run a mental health charity 👀 or an email getting a job in An Post etc etc etcetera
Displacement Is the redirection of a usually aggressive desire to a substitute recipient, usually to someone more feeble. Bullies kick puppies. Maybe this is the saddest.
Fantasy Avoids problems by imagining them or dissociating yourself away. From daydreams, to Pornhub, to being substituted into the All-Ireland final as a Chinese dragon scoring an injury time winner with a side line cut, orrrr maybe the best sketch ever, playing X-Men in your head
These are all very natural, but learning about them can prevent you from being an arsehole and prevent yourself from preventing yourself to succeed. We display at least 5 of these traits a day, so don’t beat yourself up, or definitely don’t displace and beat others up. These are all to learn more about others but more so about yourself, yet he indeed is the noblest victor is he who conquers himself (The Buddha fellha).... and not anybody else x