Dublin Lives: The Life of a Wicklow Man
An interview I (conko) did for www.dublinlive.ie was a resounding success. Firstly thanks a million to anyone that messaged as regards the article and shout out to anyone that told their own story online in real life but mega ultra shout out to Superwoman AKA Claire Scott. Claire done more for people than she could have ever imagined by taking the initiative to write an article on someone she personally knew struggled with mental health and thus elimnated some stigma and created awareness. Take a bow petit filous x
Messages flooded in to the BPB of people finally opening up. This is exactly what we had hoped to achieve. It is taking that first step of talking to someone could be life saving. You may not even be the person struggling with mental illness but hopefully by reading articles like this and others, you are slightly more aware of some others struggles.
I'm writing this because I suppose I am just kind of looking to elaborate on some important parts of that article.
Reference: Scale 0 - 10
0 = Goldfish trying to climb tree
5 = Pigeon
10 = Unicorn
When I first didn't really want to be alive and was admitted into John Of God's(0-1/10), I felt very out of touch with the general public, quite alien, I couldn't relate to anyone outside of the hospital, nearly institutionalised. I kept everything to myself and spoke to only professionals and not friends.
After falling into another dark hole of demonic thoughts within a year of becoming an outpatient, I again became an inpatient, but this time in St. Pat's(this was omitted from the article). I wasn't suicidal but due to some crazy circumstances which led to more emotions being contained, I was unable to walk, leave my house or eat (1-2/10). St. Pat's wasn't a serious intervention, it was to help me cope better and learn how to become at the very least a 3/10.
Anyway the main point of that paragraph was to lead you to the point where I started feeling 3+/10. To reach this low level of mediocrity (coming from 0/10, juxtaposition makes 3/10 somewhat blissful) there were two pivotal learning curves.
I firstly, in the words of Oscar Wilde, learned to not give a fuck. Now learning the wilde ways of not giving a fuck is conducive to progressing it is not the be all and end all. The most important thing I learnt to do was talk.
In St. Pat's I learnt to talk openly. I realised that I was as unwell as that flight to Lourdes and while amputees can talk about how one-sided their dancing is, I should easily be able to talk about laying in bed for 2 months completely disabled. So I've openly told anyone (in the right circumstance) that I'm not feeling too well, and while some don't know what to say, it is still uplifting to express these unexpressed/depressed feelings. So I basically became an open book and kind of forgot that I used to never talk and that others still don't. Which lead to me being absolutely astounded at the response to the article. It's kind of shit in the sense that it takes an article to do such a thing, recognising and expressing emotions should be bred into us from the day we are born. I genuinely believe if we at BPB keep doing our thing, the RubberBandits, Bressie etc. the next generation will be the happiest generation yet. Openly talking about their feelings and emotions. Mental health & mindfulness will be in their school curriculum and those that pass are guaranteed success through happiness.
Everyone is affected in different ways whether it's directly or indirectly so every single person on this planet needs to be open and educated enough to help.
'But yo, you're a super-privileged straight white male, what can you have to complain about?' Nah pal, I have the concentration of a goldfish on LSD which leads to an inability to complete the most basic of tasks (watch a tv show, drive,complete a form) which leads to feeling incompetent and useless, which leads to depression which leads to me not wanting to partake in this life thing.
Or that beautiful friend of yours with 'everything going for her' has been super-rude and hasn't been partaking in any frond events lately because she's detached herself from the group, because she's above you. Nah she could feel way way below so don't be ignorant man, educate yourself and talk.
I can preach and preach but my whack attention span is hard to shove under the carpet and that little dark dog called depression comes calling around sometimes to shit on that carpet. I'm just slowly getting better at toilet training that little mongrel and one day we can be friends.